Two actors take their hyperbolic flattery for one another a bit too far, and real feelings start to show.
Soprano/Mezzo Duet version: G major, Soprano highest note an A4, Mezzo highest note an E4. (Can be sung an octave down for Baritenor/Baritone duet.)
Mezzo/Alto Duet version: F major, Mezzo highest note a G4, Alto highest note a D4.
LYRICS (Click here)
Person 2:
Ahhhhh!
Person 1:
Oh my gosh, you are so a-MAH-zing.
Person 2:
Oh my gosh, YOU’RE a-MAH-zing.
Person 1:
No, you like, don’t understand!
You’re just so awesome,
you’re like, so good!
I’d put your voice inside a shell if I could!
Person 2:
Stahhhp!
Person 1:
No, girl, I mean it!
I promise, no lie:
When you’re on stage I could just literally die!
Like, literally! *mimes death* Hahahah!
Person 2:
Oh gosh, well what about you?
Your voice is velvet, and you’re so cute!
And you’re like, what? Size 2? With tits like a fruit!
Person 1:
Aww-wait, which fruit?
Person 2:
And so authentic!
Person 1:
Grapes?
Person 2:
You’re so sincere!
Person 1:
…Kiwis?
Person 2:
God! If I’m not careful, you might steal my whole career!
Person 1:
What? No! I’m just so happy for you!
Person 2:
I’m happy for you!
Person 1:
And I’m so proud of the success you get!
Person 2:
I’m just so happy for you!
Person 1:
I’m happy for you!
Both:
You’re like the sister that I never ever had…
…although we just met.
Person 1:
Sistersss!
Person 2:
Twinnies!!!
*Disingenuous laughter*
Person 1:
You’re like my idol, yeah you broke the mold!
I wanna be like you when I get that old!
Person 2:
Oh! Well, that’s not likely, but you know what is?
With work, you’ll be a whore in a non-equity Les Miz!
Or, you can be the hair hag.
…I’m only joking!
Gotcha, girlfriend!
I joke about you sucking just for pretend! Pretendsies!
Person 1:
We’re total besties, can you believe?
You’re like the Margot Channing and I’m the Eve!
Person 2:
That is most pleasing.
Person 1:
I’m just so happy for you!
Person 2:
I’m happy for you!
Both:
Can’t wait to see you get what you deserve!
Person 2:
I’m just so happy for you,
Both:
And also proud of you!
Person 2:
Yas qween, house down boots, okurr mawma, werq werq serve.
…
I love your hair, it looks so fine I wanna yank it right out.
Person 1:
I love the way your voice sounds drier with each note that you shout!
Both:
I love to share the stage with talent, but I guess this’ll do,
Person 1:
I’m just so happy!
Person 2:
Happy!
Person 1:
Happy!
Person 2:
Happy!
Person 1:
Stuck here with you!
Person 2:
Stuck here with you!
Person 1:
Stuck here with you! (changing keys)
Person 2:
I can modulate too! (changing keys)
Person 1:
I’m just so happy for you!
Person 2:
I’m just so happy for you! (riffing)
Person 1:
I’m just so haaaaa-nope. (trying to riff)
Person 2:
I’m just so happy for you!
Person 1:
I’m just so happy!
Person 2:
Whoa!
Both:
Happy!
Person 1:
…That was fun.
Person 2:
Yeah…I actually am happy.
…I forgot what I was singing,
Both:
But, hey, who gives a shit?
Two divas wailing at the top of their lungs
is always a hit!
…Bitch.